You know that feeling when you walk into a space and just think “yes, this is it”? Had that exact moment about three weeks ago when I was nosing around this gorgeous Edwardian terrace that was on the market near us. The owners had completely redone the bathroom upstairs but kept it dead simple – black hexagon tiles on the floor, white metro tiles running halfway up the walls, and these beautiful brass taps that looked like they’d been there for decades but were obviously brand new. The estate agent actually apologised for how “basic” it was, which made me want to shake her because it was absolutely perfect.
There’s just something about black and white bathrooms that never gets old, you know? I’ve watched mates spend absolute fortunes chasing whatever colour everyone’s obsessing over on Pinterest – remember when everyone was painting everything sage green? Or that weird terracotta phase? – only to be completely sick of it eighteen months later and facing another expensive redo. But black and white… it’s like jeans and a white t-shirt, isn’t it? Works for everything, never looks wrong, and you can dress it up or down depending on what mood you’re in.
My first go at a monochrome bathroom was an absolute car crash though. This was years ago when I was still renting that grotty flat in Beeston, and I had about fifty quid to work with and zero clue what I was doing. I thought sophisticated meant stark, so I painted everything builder’s white and then added every black accessory I could find in Wilko. Black shower curtain that looked like a bin bag, black bath mat that showed every bit of fluff, even a black toilet seat which Danny still brings up whenever he wants to wind me up about my questionable design choices. The whole thing looked like I was trying to recreate a police cell. When my mum came round and very diplomatically suggested I “might want to warm it up a bit,” I knew I’d got it spectacularly wrong.
The thing is, black and white isn’t just about bunging those two colours together and hoping for the best. It’s about getting the balance right, understanding where to put your dark bits and where to keep things light, especially when you’re working with a tiny space that doesn’t get much natural light. Too much black and you feel like you’re washing in a cave. Too much white and it’s like being inside a dentist’s surgery. The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle.
When we finally bought our house and I could properly sort out the bathroom – which was this horrific peach and brown nightmare that haunted my dreams – I started with the floor because that sets the tone for everything else. I’d learned from my rental disaster, so instead of going stark, I chose white hexagonal tiles with thin black borders running through them. Gives you that classic Victorian look but doesn’t smack you in the face with drama. And here’s a tip that nobody tells you – don’t use bright white grout. Seriously. I went with light grey instead because white grout looks manky within about two weeks, and you’ll spend your life scrubbing it with a toothbrush trying to make it look decent again.
For the walls, I did white subway tiles but only up to about waist height, like old-fashioned wainscoting. Above that, just painted walls in the warmest white I could find – ended up with Farrow and Ball’s Pointing after testing about twelve different whites on the wall and driving Danny mad with my indecision. The contrast between the shiny tiles and the matte paint gives you loads of visual interest without being too in-your-face about it.
This is where I got a bit clever – instead of laying the subway tiles in the usual brick pattern that everyone does, I ran them vertically. Sounds like nothing, doesn’t it? But it makes such a difference, makes the whole room feel taller and more expensive. Cost exactly the same as doing them horizontally, just looks ten times better. Sometimes the best tricks don’t cost you anything extra.
The taps were where I decided to have a bit of fun. Went for matte black everything – basin taps, shower, towel rails, the lot. I know matte black is having a massive moment right now and might feel trendy rather than timeless, but they photograph beautifully and, more importantly, they don’t show water spots like chrome does. The shower head is this big square rainfall thing that makes you feel like you’re in a posh hotel. The basin taps are wall-mounted which was a faff to install – had to get a proper plumber in to run the pipes through the wall – but it means you get loads more space around the sink and it looks incredibly clean and minimal.
Storage-wise, I found this brilliant black metal medicine cabinet with mirrored doors. Painted the inside white though because otherwise you can’t find anything when you’re half-asleep looking for ibuprofen at stupid o’clock in the morning. The vanity under the sink is white with black handles to keep that balance going – didn’t want it getting too dark and oppressive.
The lighting was probably the hardest bit to get right. My first attempt was these two black pendant lights hanging either side of the mirror, looked amazing in the showroom but absolutely useless in real life because they cast shadows exactly where you need light for doing your makeup or Danny shaving without looking like he’s been in a fight. Swapped them for one long black vanity light that runs most of the width of the mirror, plus a smaller pendant over the bath for when you want proper relaxing lighting.
I keep the accessories pretty simple but swap them around when I get bored. Sometimes I go for sleek chrome and glass stuff, sometimes warmer brass and marble. At the moment I’m loving these white marble soap dispensers with black writing on them, and I’ve got this black leather tray that holds cotton wool and all the little bottles that seem to multiply when you’re not looking. Towels are white waffle ones – they last much better than the smooth cotton ones and feel more expensive – with black edging.
Oh, and plants make such a difference. I’ve got a snake plant on the windowsill because it loves the humidity and adds the only bit of colour in there. Sometimes I’ll treat myself to white orchids when Tesco has them reduced, but mostly I prefer keeping it pure black and white.
The brilliant thing about getting the bones right with a black and white scheme is how easy it is to change things up without starting from scratch. Fancy some colour? Chuck in some navy towels or a patterned shower curtain. Feeling really minimal? Strip it right back to just the basics. Want more texture? Add a jute bath mat or some woven storage baskets.
What I’ve figured out over the years is that timeless doesn’t mean boring – it means every single thing you choose has to earn its place. The hex tiles because they’re classic but also practical and hide dirt brilliantly. The subway tiles because they’re affordable, easy to clean, and work with literally any style. The matte black taps because they look sophisticated but also don’t show every water mark. Nothing’s there just for the sake of it.
Yeah, Instagram’s probably full of people doing millennial pink bathrooms or those deep green tiles that cost a fortune right now, but I know that in five years’ time I’ll still love my bathroom exactly as it is. Can’t say the same about whatever colour’s trending next month, can you?
